Is equal to bliss. Here I am, sitting in my room all alone working on some fundoo stuff on the famous Nash equilibrium late in the night. Giving me company is Ustad Amjad Ali Khan on the sarod with his mellifluous music.
It’s raining outside, and the scent of wet earth wafts in like the perfume of a beautiful woman. A pea hen coos in the background. I’m reminded of a phrase attributed to Jehangir, which he exclaimed in the Mughal gardens of Kashmir :
Agar firdaus bar roe zamminast,
hamminasto hamminasto hamminast !
(If there is paradise on earth, it is here, it is here, it is here!). Thank you my Lord.
Friday, June 1, 2007
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Head above water!
The wee hours of Sunday found me in the pool with my group mate. No, we did not have a bet to see who could get into chilly water and freeze to the bone last. See, there’s this time tested tradition of dunking the birthday boy and his/her groupies into the swimming pool. Last night happened to be my groupie’s celebration, and so to cut a long story short, I found myself in a great bath of chlorine. For the second time in a month. And I have a team of 5!
Confidence Intervals. Marginal Utility. Cash Flow Analysis. Kotler & Keller. Covariance. Correlation. Depreciation. LDP. ISB Radio- Zimbly South. Finance, marketing, commodities clubs. Head above water!
It’s been a month since I left campus. I listen to video clips of news, while I’m working the math. Multi-tasking to save the time on newspapers. A far cry from the time mom would be behind me to drop the paper and head for office. Hyd could have burnt to the ground for all I know of. Chennai and the life I left behind seem to be in the next galaxy. New friends made, old friends without touch. Got a mail from a friend few days back asking why I did not make it to another’s wedding? I miss them all, all of them. Days go by. Life’s like that and all that stuff… Now i know what it feels to set up an outpost, an empire from scratch.
Looks like I left the barn door open when I walked out. The horses are bolting!!!
Confidence Intervals. Marginal Utility. Cash Flow Analysis. Kotler & Keller. Covariance. Correlation. Depreciation. LDP. ISB Radio- Zimbly South. Finance, marketing, commodities clubs. Head above water!
It’s been a month since I left campus. I listen to video clips of news, while I’m working the math. Multi-tasking to save the time on newspapers. A far cry from the time mom would be behind me to drop the paper and head for office. Hyd could have burnt to the ground for all I know of. Chennai and the life I left behind seem to be in the next galaxy. New friends made, old friends without touch. Got a mail from a friend few days back asking why I did not make it to another’s wedding? I miss them all, all of them. Days go by. Life’s like that and all that stuff… Now i know what it feels to set up an outpost, an empire from scratch.
Looks like I left the barn door open when I walked out. The horses are bolting!!!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
RollerCoaster !
If there was one word to describe last week, this would be it. Getting out of Madras with tons of luggage was fun enough. Add to that a new city, a sea of faces whose names you need to remember, a 270 acre campus that stretches into infinity, a plethora of clubs to sign up for, and soon it looked like I had a mini Disneyland trip on my hands.
Not that I am complaining though, I just love my decision to let go and swim into the waters of academia. It’s a pleasure to brood over assignments, figure out the next party and work on the upcoming case discussion and presentation. Who says you can’t worry and have fun doing it?
The last week has also shown that boys with be boys and girls will well… be girls. Yours truly managed to hog minor celebrity status by coming second on an RJ Talent Hunt on Campus. Soon, my silken voice shall soothe my fellow mates on the Campus Radio!
But enough of this talk, my books call out to me. Let me get back to caressing their beautiful spines and drink deep of their ambrosia. Yes, I’m in love again – with mathematics!
Moral: Never leave pen and paper to a guy sitting up at 1: 30 am with a night out on his hands and 5 ppts to absorb.
Not that I am complaining though, I just love my decision to let go and swim into the waters of academia. It’s a pleasure to brood over assignments, figure out the next party and work on the upcoming case discussion and presentation. Who says you can’t worry and have fun doing it?
The last week has also shown that boys with be boys and girls will well… be girls. Yours truly managed to hog minor celebrity status by coming second on an RJ Talent Hunt on Campus. Soon, my silken voice shall soothe my fellow mates on the Campus Radio!
But enough of this talk, my books call out to me. Let me get back to caressing their beautiful spines and drink deep of their ambrosia. Yes, I’m in love again – with mathematics!
Moral: Never leave pen and paper to a guy sitting up at 1: 30 am with a night out on his hands and 5 ppts to absorb.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Reflections!
Ever seen a German shepherd when he sees a bowl of his favorite dog food? If yes, you can get an inkling of my feelings upon hearing that I’d been invited to Manipal. Manipal! TAPMI! Yes!
Sweeter than the invite was the fact that I, as an alumnus of that blessed institute had been invited to serve on the Admissions Board. For me, having spent 5 years fighting impossible deadlines, even more unreasonable bosses, and a social life tending to zero at times, this selection was a sweet vindication of my worth. Made saccharine by the fact that it was an all expenses jaunt. So before you could say “hallelujah”, bags packed, and face scrubbed to a shine, I was on a plane off to Mlore.
I love flights. If it’s not the thrill of take off, and the feeling of freedom while up in the clouds, then it’s the hours spent observing the good folk at the airport. Smart stewards, sexy airhostesses (why shy away from saying so?) and curious passengers caught up in their own busy world make for amazing watching. Or is it that my co-passengers are too scared to put down their make believe world of Mr. PPT, Mr. Excel and Miss Blackberry & face real life?
Finally, I got to Mlore, rushed over to grandma, got fussed over BIG TIME, grabbed some sleep and hit the road to Manipal! How do I describe the ride? Lush green fields, clean water, quaint little bridges and miles of road, with cheerful little girls selling jasmine flowers, all along the way.
And so I alighted at Eden. Some prelims later, I was all ready for interview time. Hitting the men’s washroom to freshen up, I chanced into the old crooked mirror. Seven years back,at my admission interview, I glanced likewise, mirroring a face with edgy nerves and queasy stomach. Now, here I was, the prodigal son, leaner (poetic license here…), meaner (what do you expect after 60 monthly sales target meetings?) and definitely more richer (courtesy the customers who contributed to my incentives). I seemed to have bartered my innocence for all this though. Did I lose it for my own good or otherwise?
The next two days saw me wading amongst howlers, smart Alecs and smarter people. Given that I was being paid for institutional and perfectly legal ragging, boy did I emerge as a fast learner! And so we discussed college discipline, chewing gum, the farthest way to Goa and simultaneous equations. Pummelled cute girls into jelly. Converted aggressive men into whimpering pageboys . And took the occasional fire from the smart ones. Evenings late into the night went into sampling some delicious street food, tall milk shakes and ice cream. The highlight as always was the experience strolling down the pavement, into armies of college girls from all over town, and being relentlessly assaulted by Miss. Gucci and her pretty sister Miss Nina Ricci. And sometimes their glamorous cousin, Miss Chanel herself! Did someone say Scent of a Woman?
Like all good things, before you could say, “wake up!” I was flying back into dear Chennai and the real world. Still it was nice to feel wanted, so far away from home. Till I go back again, reflections are all there are to keep me company!
PS :
5 Years have gone by since I graduated, the world is a sadder place, governments have come and gone,stock markets defy gravity and sanity, but Manipal remains pretty much the same. The bikes are all there, as are the beautiful girls, slumped scandalously all over their boyfriends, riding into the sunset. The girls as always order from the menu, and the men pick up the bill. Equality – pfah!
Sweeter than the invite was the fact that I, as an alumnus of that blessed institute had been invited to serve on the Admissions Board. For me, having spent 5 years fighting impossible deadlines, even more unreasonable bosses, and a social life tending to zero at times, this selection was a sweet vindication of my worth. Made saccharine by the fact that it was an all expenses jaunt. So before you could say “hallelujah”, bags packed, and face scrubbed to a shine, I was on a plane off to Mlore.
I love flights. If it’s not the thrill of take off, and the feeling of freedom while up in the clouds, then it’s the hours spent observing the good folk at the airport. Smart stewards, sexy airhostesses (why shy away from saying so?) and curious passengers caught up in their own busy world make for amazing watching. Or is it that my co-passengers are too scared to put down their make believe world of Mr. PPT, Mr. Excel and Miss Blackberry & face real life?
Finally, I got to Mlore, rushed over to grandma, got fussed over BIG TIME, grabbed some sleep and hit the road to Manipal! How do I describe the ride? Lush green fields, clean water, quaint little bridges and miles of road, with cheerful little girls selling jasmine flowers, all along the way.
And so I alighted at Eden. Some prelims later, I was all ready for interview time. Hitting the men’s washroom to freshen up, I chanced into the old crooked mirror. Seven years back,at my admission interview, I glanced likewise, mirroring a face with edgy nerves and queasy stomach. Now, here I was, the prodigal son, leaner (poetic license here…), meaner (what do you expect after 60 monthly sales target meetings?) and definitely more richer (courtesy the customers who contributed to my incentives). I seemed to have bartered my innocence for all this though. Did I lose it for my own good or otherwise?
The next two days saw me wading amongst howlers, smart Alecs and smarter people. Given that I was being paid for institutional and perfectly legal ragging, boy did I emerge as a fast learner! And so we discussed college discipline, chewing gum, the farthest way to Goa and simultaneous equations. Pummelled cute girls into jelly. Converted aggressive men into whimpering pageboys . And took the occasional fire from the smart ones. Evenings late into the night went into sampling some delicious street food, tall milk shakes and ice cream. The highlight as always was the experience strolling down the pavement, into armies of college girls from all over town, and being relentlessly assaulted by Miss. Gucci and her pretty sister Miss Nina Ricci. And sometimes their glamorous cousin, Miss Chanel herself! Did someone say Scent of a Woman?
Like all good things, before you could say, “wake up!” I was flying back into dear Chennai and the real world. Still it was nice to feel wanted, so far away from home. Till I go back again, reflections are all there are to keep me company!
PS :
5 Years have gone by since I graduated, the world is a sadder place, governments have come and gone,stock markets defy gravity and sanity, but Manipal remains pretty much the same. The bikes are all there, as are the beautiful girls, slumped scandalously all over their boyfriends, riding into the sunset. The girls as always order from the menu, and the men pick up the bill. Equality – pfah!
Friday, February 16, 2007
Valentine Blues !
This Valentine’s Day is one I would love to forget in a hurry. Then again, it’s not so easy.
I knew this day would be different, when I accepted a call to drive someone all over town and back for keeping some mundane family politics in shape. Not that I refused to do it. Next, my car got a Valentine card from my Exide battery, complete with a rose, in the center of the city. Followed by picking up folks from the station in the night to take them to a hospital, where a 2-year-old kid had had his eye removed. And watched his family members weep. To top it all I did the drive, and was a mute listener to a one-hour dirge on social, health and gynecological problems.
Oh, and what about my Valentine? Don’t get your hopes up on that one…
Days like these better be the stuff of a strictly one-time rant. Hopefully my next Valentine’s Day will treat me kindly.
I knew this day would be different, when I accepted a call to drive someone all over town and back for keeping some mundane family politics in shape. Not that I refused to do it. Next, my car got a Valentine card from my Exide battery, complete with a rose, in the center of the city. Followed by picking up folks from the station in the night to take them to a hospital, where a 2-year-old kid had had his eye removed. And watched his family members weep. To top it all I did the drive, and was a mute listener to a one-hour dirge on social, health and gynecological problems.
Oh, and what about my Valentine? Don’t get your hopes up on that one…
Days like these better be the stuff of a strictly one-time rant. Hopefully my next Valentine’s Day will treat me kindly.
Friday, February 9, 2007
When friends part ...
I miss her a lot. Her laugh, her pout, her grin. Evenings with her wolfing down spicy panipuris have come and gone in a flash. Her glaring look if angered, standing at the doorway, arms akimbo…
She descended into my life ,literally. Working in the bowels of a cold building a few summers back, I warmed up to a cheery “ Hi! “. My bum chum at work fell for her instantly. Not me, Mr. Reserved Banker with a stiff upper lip. For some time after this meeting, our conversation bordered on the Hi’s and the how do you do’s. We seem destined to end as casual acquaintances. Fate willed otherwise. Sitting with her at yet another boring office party, celebrating yet another mundane milestone, we got talking. Many stories, scandals, and great laughs later, our pact of friendship was sealed. In her, I had come across that truly rare species; a warm, genuine human being.
Many moons and several plates of panipuri later came the time to part. I drove her to the airport, hoisted her bag and bade her good bye. And did not ask for a hug. And yes, I wanted one.
I’m sure she is well settled and happy back home, no doubt making tons of friends anew. In this age & time, I’ll never be far removed from her either. But when will I get that hug from her? Or see her smile again? Or gulp panipuri together? When friends part …
She descended into my life ,literally. Working in the bowels of a cold building a few summers back, I warmed up to a cheery “ Hi! “. My bum chum at work fell for her instantly. Not me, Mr. Reserved Banker with a stiff upper lip. For some time after this meeting, our conversation bordered on the Hi’s and the how do you do’s. We seem destined to end as casual acquaintances. Fate willed otherwise. Sitting with her at yet another boring office party, celebrating yet another mundane milestone, we got talking. Many stories, scandals, and great laughs later, our pact of friendship was sealed. In her, I had come across that truly rare species; a warm, genuine human being.
Many moons and several plates of panipuri later came the time to part. I drove her to the airport, hoisted her bag and bade her good bye. And did not ask for a hug. And yes, I wanted one.
I’m sure she is well settled and happy back home, no doubt making tons of friends anew. In this age & time, I’ll never be far removed from her either. But when will I get that hug from her? Or see her smile again? Or gulp panipuri together? When friends part …
Friday, February 2, 2007
Decisions, Decisions …
As a legendary procrastinator (does this word exist? – it must, spell check says ok) and a recent convert to the world of decisive thinking, I’ve always marveled at the ease with which some people take decisions. Take Dad, for instance. While I’m still flummoxed with the intricacies of the broken egg on the spotless floor, and delicately balancing the nuances of the issue on hand, he is on Step 3 of the resolution. Often, the only speed breaker he has had to handle while assisting me in solving my problems has been my own sluggishness.
Decisions fascinate. If it’s not the unknown horrors lurking in the aftermath of the choice, then it’s the fear of failure that inspires dread. My favorite reason however is the feeling of oneness behind every decision. Once a door is opened, contrary to popular myth there is only a particular door (and not multiple ones) that can be opened. Fishbone diagrams look good on fish, not in reviewing alternatives in real life.
A close second is the puzzle of why other people react to a decision. Does not my decision impact me the most? If so, and when I am at peace after deciding, why are you so hurt/ angry / jealous/ envious / aghast with it? Is it because you are forced out of your tortoise shell into making a decision, much against your natural inclination to procrastinate? Or is it because you have nothing better to do, than criticize every bloke who makes a choice ?
Why this rant on decisions? Well, I have taken some pretty significant decisions this year. I’ve identified a path for myself to walk on. More importantly, I’ve willed myself to walk on it successfully. Decided, after much sighing at the moon, to tread carefully in my love for someone. Resolved, to work harder at spreading my message of the Four Pillars of Respect. But, the most important decision I’ve taken this year till date, is to never bottle up my voice. The truth is out, thanks to this blog.
Decisions fascinate. If it’s not the unknown horrors lurking in the aftermath of the choice, then it’s the fear of failure that inspires dread. My favorite reason however is the feeling of oneness behind every decision. Once a door is opened, contrary to popular myth there is only a particular door (and not multiple ones) that can be opened. Fishbone diagrams look good on fish, not in reviewing alternatives in real life.
A close second is the puzzle of why other people react to a decision. Does not my decision impact me the most? If so, and when I am at peace after deciding, why are you so hurt/ angry / jealous/ envious / aghast with it? Is it because you are forced out of your tortoise shell into making a decision, much against your natural inclination to procrastinate? Or is it because you have nothing better to do, than criticize every bloke who makes a choice ?
Why this rant on decisions? Well, I have taken some pretty significant decisions this year. I’ve identified a path for myself to walk on. More importantly, I’ve willed myself to walk on it successfully. Decided, after much sighing at the moon, to tread carefully in my love for someone. Resolved, to work harder at spreading my message of the Four Pillars of Respect. But, the most important decision I’ve taken this year till date, is to never bottle up my voice. The truth is out, thanks to this blog.
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